Dear RealDanSavage: I’m a twentysomething genetic male. I thought for a while that I might be trans, but I ended up deciding that while I hate my masculine features and like girl clothes and want to be “cute,” I have no desire to be female and don’t want to have breasts or a vagina. I also don’t identify with a particular sexual orientation, as I don’t find the concept useful. I’ve been with both boys and girls, and currently I’m with a trans girl who wants to get sex-reassignment surgery (SRS). Is it insensitive, as a rule, to be attracted to trans girls? I like to think of myself as sexually progressive, and I don’t want to objectify anybody. – Hates Real Vaginas
I wanted to quote a freelance writer and trans media activist, but my priest/lawyer/congressperson said that would be stupid so I’m giving you the straight shit instead.
You have a mental disorder.
This is not just my personal opinion, though, so don’t go hatin’ on me. Don’t get me wrong: I’m big into hate. You just need to hate the right person, which would be Dr. Paul McHugh, the former psychiatrist in chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital.
“‘Sex change’ is biologically impossible. People who undergo sex-reassignment surgery do not change from men to women or vice versa. Rather, they become feminized men or masculinized women. Claiming that this is civil-rights matter and encouraging surgical intervention is in reality to collaborate with and promote a mental disorder.
The good news is that you have a 75% chance of getting over your disorder just by doing nothing!
If your girlfriend wants surgery … well, OK … but don’t drop my name because she’ll probably have even more mental problems about 10 years after the procedure. Which would be bad enough by itself, but you should also know that the suicide mortality rate after SRS is “almost 20-fold above the comparable nontransgender population.”
Damn. Mental disorder, followed by more mental problems, followed by suicide. Please excuse me, but I don’t care how good the sex is – and I’m BIG into sex – that is some shit I could do without.
The bottom line, according to McHugh? You can’t be a woman, and she can’t be a man.
But you don’t have to believe someone with a long career of investigating the neuroscientific foundations of motivated behaviors, psychiatric genetics, epidemiology, and neuropsychiatry.
No. You can choose to believe Parker Marie Molloy, an essayist and transgender media advocate who writes about feminism and gender-related topics for The Advocate, Rolling Stone, The Huffington Post, Salon, and Talking Points Memo.
Molloy says the two of you should “sit down and have a long talk about genitals.”
Yeah, I know I said I’d give you the straight shit, but I’ve changed my mind. No contest. Go with Molloy.