The news that Fred Phelps is dying brought so much joy to my heart that I’ve created a short list of other people who deserve to die.*
- Republicans, with special circumstances for Sarah Palin and her evil spawn. I’m thinking wolves.
- Christians. Crucifixion for sure.
- Russians, especially Vladimir Putin. Bear baiting.
- Conservative talk show hosts. Death by waterboarding.
Haters, all of them. If we’re ever going to have a world free of hate, we need to kill the haters. It’s the only way to achieve transhumanity.
* RealDanSavage reserves the right to change this list without prior notice (and looks forward to doing so). By reading this list, you agree to kill a few haters yourself.