What’s the best age to euthanize stupid heterosexual women?

It’s impossible to open your web browser these days without seeing absurd articles written by stupid fucks. I should know.

Take Erin Gloria Ryan, for instance, writing over at Jezebel about “the best age to have an abortion.” Her conclusion? Age 25.

Not age 27-30, which, according to Ryan, is her own demographic and the beginning of sexual death because “who knows when you’ll find another guy willing to repeatedly fuck your aging-out-of-online-dating carcass.”

If you can’t find one, Erin, maybe something’s wrong with you. My guy repeatedly fucks my aging carcass — at least on the days when I’m not repeatedly fucking another guy’s aging carcass — and I’m married!

If you are getting repeatedly fucked, Erin, then you’re just a snarky bitch whose “carcass” remains undiminished by childbirth. And if you haven’t been sterilized, then I hope your repeated fucking occurs in a county which has an abortion clinic — because the rest of humanity would likely prefer to euthanize itself rather than support Erin Gloria Ryan Jr.

So, what is the best age to euthanize stupid heterosexual women? If I remembered how to use my euthanatic opioids, I wouldn’t be asking this question. I’d be out there kevorking women like Ryan. But here goes:

  • Under 18: Yes
  • 18-23: Yes
  • 24-27: Yes
  • 27-30: Yes
  • 30-34: Yes
  • 35-39: Yes
  • After 40: Yes

Taking into account the stupidity of some heterosexual women at any age, I’d say that any age is right for euthanasia. Disagree? Fuck you.

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About therealdansavage

I'm the Fake Real Dan Savage. Not to be confused with the Real Fake Dan Savage (who's the real real Dan Savage), the gay anti-bullying activist who likes to bully people who aren't gay or fake. View all posts by therealdansavage

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