Barney Frank, Humanist of the Year, to receive on-stage blowjob at award ceremony

Barney Frank will receive a blowjob from The Real Dan Savage at the 73rd American Humanist Association's 2014 Annual Conference.

Barney Frank will receive a blowjob from The Real Dan Savage at the 73rd American Humanist Association’s 2014 Annual Conference.

I’ll be giving Barney Frank one of my epic blowjobs during the 73rd AHA Annual Conference, June 6-9, 2014 in Philadelphia, PA. You should come.

My husband won’t mind. He knows that monogamy can cause boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted. (I taught him to be more realistic about marriage.)

Like me, Frank is a maverick who never gets bored. I mean, this is the dude who – as a sitting Congressmanperson – paid a gay prostitute for sex, invited him home, and allowed the man-killer to run a brothel out of his living room.

I thought I had great flaming balls of fire. I can’t wait to blow him.

But Frank wasn’t done after that. He went on to bigger and better things – he “helped caused an economic calamity that wiped out the life savings of millions of people he claimed to represent.”

Both Barney and Chris Dodd, his Senate counterpart, enjoyed the largesse and looked the other way–and worse. Frank secured a job at Fannie-Mae for his partner. Dodd received a sweetheart loan from the mega-sleazy Angelo Mozilo, the scoundrel in charge of Countrywide Mortgages. Neither of them took the massive Fannie and Freddie housing abuses seriously enough to investigate.

“Enjoyed the largesse and looked the other way.” He won’t be able to look away when I get busy enjoying HIS largesse. “Mega-sleazy.” Ooooh, Barney, talk dirty to me!

Damn! No wonder he’s getting the Humanist of the Year Award!

What I can’t figure out is why Frank didn’t blow me when I got the award in 2013.

Oh, well. I’m young, and there’s still hope that I’ll be as great as Frank some day. He reminds me of a smart, tough, old, grandfather I’d like to blow. Randy yet stern.

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About therealdansavage

I'm the Fake Real Dan Savage. Not to be confused with the Real Fake Dan Savage (who's the real real Dan Savage), the gay anti-bullying activist who likes to bully people who aren't gay or fake. View all posts by therealdansavage

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