Evil Blogger Lady posts some Vicious Ugly Twisted Shit I disagree with. Therefore, I ordain that Evil Blogger Lady really is evil, and I command her to stop in the name of Shit Gets Better. How dare she co-opt our Pledge for such evil purposes? This calls for Action!
I’m not sad. I’m insanely fucking happy, which means that I’m just being myself (The Real Dan Savage, not to be confused with @FakeDanSavage, who’s the real real Dan Savage), and that I’m about to erupt with previously unseen levels of insanely bigoted happiness.
Evil Blogger Lady wrote: “GLAAD and the PC thought police get a lot of butt hurt over this one.” And Robert Stacy McCain (oh, great gay god of the underworld, protect me as I type the name which shall not be typed) repeated the vile phrase.
But despite my attention-grabbing headline, the real issue is that there is in fact no “PC thought police.” I mean, how dare she insinuate that anyone would even consider blocking a website, or censoring a TV show, just because someone said something politically incorrect? The very idea makes my foreskin crawl.
I agree with Piers Morgan: She’s a vile bigot, and the First Amendment shouldn’t protect vile bigots. Someone should shit in her mouth (see here, here and here, and possibly other places because I love that image), or make a cunnilingus joke about her mother on CNN.
Piers Morgan isn’t sad, either. We’re happy! Look deep into my eyes. Can’t you see the happiness just oozing out of my pupils?